March 15, 2019

B.,

You told me not to hesitate in wiritng to you when I feel like, so at this point I'm not going to.

This is a difficult letter to write. It's difficult because I want to describe the passion my love for you has without seeming like a crazy person. I am passionate. When I do something, I try my utmost to achieve it with everything I can. Tonight I went out and had way too many beers, but I keep telling my co-workers I wanted to go for a run after. During this my friend also messaged me asking if I wanted to read the Quran with him this summer. I ended up calling you, writing to him about how you can't read the Quran for it's asthetic or cultural value and how it was written to convince true believers not to explain the world to historians, and then at 11pm I went for a 7 mile run. This may sound self imposed, but I'm not a man to live half a life. Love is not ment to be lived at a distance. It's meant to be experienced as deeply and fully as possible. It's the most sublime and profound emotion that exists, and to deny any part of your heart is to deny your humanity. I want to move to Madison for you. I'd quit my job for you. When you asked me what I wouldn't do for you, I told you the truth. And the things I didn't say are truly things I would give for you. I'm not throwing away a good future for the chance at happiness for you. I'm making a deliberate choice toward what I believe would make me, you, us the happiest. I will always give you everything I can, and if one day I don't then at that time I've become a different man than I am now. Don't feel like I'm giving up my future for you. Please, do not. I'm changing mine, and your, path in life for what I believe is most important. If somehow things don't work out, it will be the best mistake I'll ever have made, because you are worth everything to me. I was pretty tipsy earlier and even an hour run can't get rid of that, but hopefully you understand me better and I help quiet your worries about how our future together lies. I love you.