June 29, 2023

It's been a very long time since I've written a love letter. And I'm not positive that's what I'm composing. Regardless of the label, there is much I'd like to express to you.

You are such a unique soul. Unlike with anyone else, when I'm with you I simply seek to open a space for genuine tender expression. No expectations, just shared moments of unspoken truth lacking the subtle coercion people play on those they're attracted to. 

I don't fully understand myself around you. I wait. Slowly. Forever. I don't know what I'm waiting for, but I know it's what I should do. And you always move things in the right direction, so I feel comfortable extending those quiet moments as long as I can. To become quite lost in you and eventually guided out. It's such a natural trust. These moments are rare in life and they are everything. Few times can compare to those where I've held you, touched your face, and looked into your eyes. Such simple pleasure from the smallest caress. Few others embody this stillness. We know what every soft gesture means. Whats communicated in every slight pressure. What's unsaid in the subtle traces of our fingertips. I cannot imagine life has to offer anything more. In waiting there is understanding. No pretenses. I crave this from every aspect of my life and I've only found it in rare moments as these, moments I'd thank you for if it was necessary. I don't question anything, because what more could one want?

In the short time we've known each other, I've been a distant person. And sometimes I feel distant to myself. I lament because I can't change the weight of circumstance. I feel I've been true with you, and yet truth can only be expressed as far as it's understood. Sometimes time flattens the peaks of passion, or tragedy, and allows us to peer back over them to those from which we are now separated.

A., you will always hold a place in my being. One that will remind me to seek out the most loving aspects of my personality and make them available for everyone I encounter. You inspire a world of beauty.

With everything,

Kalvin