January 3, 2019

B.,

I would like more than anything to visit you someday and explain everything. No part of this situation was easy or simple, and you were always at the worst end of it. I can write you a hundred letters, but in the end I don't think I can truly make you understand me through them. I want more than anything the chance to talk to you in person and explain how everything went wrong. To explain. There's a reason I keep reaching back out to you. It's because I can't get over you and I don't know if I ever will. No other person before or after you made my heart feel what you did. 

I don't know what to do. I don't really want to live in a big city. I want to live a simple life. A minimal life full of art and beauty. I want to experience things authentically and I think that's difficult to do in a metropolis. But I'm not happy right now. I don't know if I can go on the way I am.