August 16, 2018

B.,

I didn't tell you I was going to come because I figured you'd refuse. It was cowardly, but I needed to speak with you in person. When I started this hike I figured I'd be able to find closure. If you didn't respond then I knew it was really over that I had lost possibly the greatest happiness I'd ever know. I've seen a lot of the world, but I've never come across someone as special as you. After I got halfway through I realized that if I never saw you again I may never find closure and wouldn't be able to provide any for you either. So I hiked 300 miles in 7 days that I would have the time to come out here. I had made a mistake. Possibly the greatest mistake of my life. A text, or a letter, cannot truly express the kind of sorrow and regret that I experienced soon after. And not regret over my lost happiness, but over the pain I caused you. Over your loss of trust and betrayal. I know I hurt you, and knowing this hurt me. I respect and look up to you more than any woman I've dated before. The saying 'you don't know what you have until it's gone' was so true for me this time. We were never officially dating. We never called ourselves a couple or even told each other we loved each other. But I did love you and I still do. And regardless of what the result of this is, I will still be in love with you for a very long time. And I hope that if things don't work that you inspire this in every one of your future partners.

My heart will always be open to you.

Kalvin